Not Ok.

It’s when you look at your phone and although you agreed no texting, your eyes ache at the blank space.
It’s turning over in the middle of the night reaching out for someone who isn’t there and never will be ever again.
It’s when something funny happens and you automatically go to tell them but you realise that you can’t and then your laughter turns to tears and you can’t remember why it was funny in the first place.
It’s when your talking to a friend and you’re like “oh my boyfriend…” and you have to stop yourself because you don’t know what he’s doing or who he’s with, and he’s not your boyfriend anymore, he’s just this guy I used to hang out with a lot, and that is supposed to be ok now.
It’s like every bad day you’ve ever had rolled into one, only there’s no cuddle at the end to hold you together and make it ok again.
It’s not ok.

 

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