Autumn

Autumn has to be my favourite season of the year. The bright vibrant colours, the oversized woolly jumpers, mustard coloured hats, and of course I am a sucker for a pumpkin spiced latte.

Autumn shows us how beautiful the process of “letting go” can be.

Time to get rid of old habbits, old routines, all of the baggage you have been carrying around all year. It might feel scary, you might feel bare. But you need to let go of things that have died so that new things can grow. Relationships, possessions, jobs, whatever it might be. Eventually you’ll get used to it not being there. You’ll learn to love who you are without those things, and as soon as you do spring will be here. Bringing new life, joy and colour.

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Why do I torture myself late at night?

I feel like I’m poking a wound, and I don’t like the look of the scar it’s going to make so I keep letting it bleed. After all, the pain is the only thing left connecting us together. And the longer we spend apart the weaker that connection becomes.

The longer we go without speaking to each other the more I realise I can’t even remember the tone of your voice. The longer we don’t see each other the less I remember what you look like. And even when I look at the pictures we have together they don’t look the same.

I used to look at them and see magic, now all I see is pain.

 

It’s been a while…

It’s been a while since I saw you
It feels like a lifetime ago
I relive it almost everyday
All that we went through

I hope you are doing okay
I keep you in my prayers
One day I know we’ll look back
And see it was worth all the tears

I’ll never forget all that you did
Or how you made me feel
You were my lighthouse
The only safety that felt real

If I could change one thing
If I could do it all again
I would save you first
Shelter you from my pain

I know I asked too much
That I was a burden to bare
I relied on your strength
And I know that it wasnt fair

Its been a while since you held me
A lifetime since we kissed
I hope you know how much
Your presence is missed

Personality test

There are some tests you want to pass (an exam for example), others you might want to fail (an unwanted pregnancy test for example) and then there are those which you can neither pass or fail. Now, you might wonder what the point of these types of tests are but actually they can be more empowering than any grade on a test.

Recently I took part in a Myas Briggs Personality testing day. I have to say, it was an incredible expierience. Before the day I had to complete a questionaire and send it in to the centre. In the morning, the training taught us about the four different personality catogories…

The first catogory is quite commonly achknowledged: (E)xtroverted OR (I)ntroverted.
Its worth noting that the introvert in not nessessarily a shy loner and the extrovert is not always the crazy party animal. You can be a shy extrovert, or a confident introvert. Your E/I preference comes from whether you get your energy from other people or from private quiet time. I always thought I was an introvert because sometimes I do feel like an awkward turtle in the corner at a party, but actually as soon as I find my feet I feel energized by the atmosphere and the people I interact with. So turns out, I am a socially awkward extrovert. This actually made a lot of sense, I was able to understand why leaving work was such a loss for me because I lost my interaction with people, my way of getting energy.

The second catogory was i(N)tuative or (S)ensual. This one is a little less obvious to distingush between. Sensual people like to be in the moment, enjoy detail and following steps. Intuative people, however find them themselves thinking “big picture” rather than details prefer to multitask and often leave a mess behind!

The third is (T)hinker or (F)eeler. So this one depends on whether you tend to make head over heart or heart over head decisions.

The last catogory is (P)erciever or (J)udgement. P’s do not like making decisions, hate closure, often leave work to the deadline. J’s make decisions easily, need closure and are often very organised usually starting work towards a deadline as soon as they get it. These are the people who finish Christmas shopping in November!

Obviously this is just a summary of the different catogories. The day covered much more including your predominant charactoristics, common clashes and compliments between different personalities. It really helped me understand my relationships, and myself much more clearly. Well worth a look if you are interested!